Called you in at four
They said it hadn't been long
The nighttime swallows in the fire's gaze
And cancer sighs the plague infected
To whom did you address
That scar-tinted open wound?
Wandering freely
Before the malnourished get their fill
There was a time, I
admit
But illness bears the labored dreams
Encompassed minds of lost desires;
The irrational becoming fixed
Irony of stupidity doesn't come so close
To you as it so strongly chooses
me
I've never felt so realistically
foolish

*HIBISCUS

"Don't Ever Let Anyone Clip Your Wings" (demo)

The Whereabouts of Happyness (demo) by marksescon

You remember every kiss.

You remember faces and lips.

You remember tongues.

Parts where you spelled "love."

You remember names.

You remember games that they played.

You said they're [all] the same.

That they say they all need me.

So cast away, cast to sea.

You are the saddest girl that I have ever known.

So casted to sink, and cast me.

You don't have believe, but I once did.

You lived in the shadows.

Pirouette yourself into a hole.

You needed someone to prove to you it's love.

You are so alone with nowhere left to go.

No one gave up on you.

It made more sense to lose.

A Parenthetical Life.

Fork, spoon, bowl, plate, paper, glass, porcelain:
disseminate. This court is in session; let the trial be--
(Oh, the pain. Nevermind that. We will continue,)
--begin. What did you see the other night?
Behind the pristine counters and knobs,
behind stiff waitresses with braces twice removed.
I saw on the glass door, upon walking in,
a snooty badge of hypocrity--two lines
converged and attached at the hip.
(Oh, the pain. Nevermind that. We will continue,)
Who handled you in the ostensible shine,
fit for the obsessive; glistering metal, flawless glare.
Tell me now; my mind begs of pencils and pens;
my body? Of bananas and bread.

Waking Up

I've been having really memorable dreams. The other night, I was driving from somewhere important with Father John Francis and then he ended up scolding me for something after we got to Interfaith. Ambiguous much? Oh yes, definitely.

But last night... I dreamt of you.

It was the beginning of a new quarter. I was in a lecture hall (maybe the new Engineering Hall?) and it was so packed. I was running a few minuets late and couldn't find a seat, but spotted one up front. I sat down and you excitedly said hello because we haven't had a class together in over a year.

FLASHFORWARD (and yes, I do have those in my dreams).

We were wearing clothes for warmer weather--you know, tank tops, shorts, slippers, etc. It was around 7th or 8th week or so and I had made a few study buddies in the class (since you and I had scheduling conflicts), and one sat next to me. I introduced you to my new buddy and we went back and continued our conversation. I noticed you were unusually shy and asked if you were okay. You said yes, so I went back to conversing with my buddy.

Then you leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I have an answer for you." And I sat there wondering what question I even asked in the first place. "Let's hang out after class!"

Class came and went and I anxiously waited for the answer to my question: what did I ask you to do? After class, we took your car and we ate somewhere really filling (I'm thinking Boiling Crab right now, but maybe it's just because I'm craving it.. Haha). And when I got to my apartment, there were rose petals leading to my room. A bouquet was waiting on my desk with three Angel figurines, each holding up a world to complete a sentence: "Yes, I Will"

As I stood there, trying to figure out what all this meant, you walked closer, grabbed me around my waist and whispered "I'll go with you to formal."

I froze.

FLASHBACK: It was around the 3rd week of the quarter and I was complaining to you about how bitter I was about learning (via facebook) that my prospective date was "in a relationship" and how the person he was involved with was someone whom I found to be very irritating. And I asked you if, as a friend, you would go with me to formal if I totally didn't end up finding a date. You told me that we'd have to see what would happen.

I turned around and said to you, "Wow... I totally forgot... I mean.. I wasn't even planning on going anymore..."

You turned so red and quickly made your way out of my apartment. I chased after you and called out your name in the hallway. Right before you got into your car, I grabbed your hand and dragged you to a shaded area.

"Look, just because I wasn't planning on going anymore doesn't mean I don't want to go with you... I do. I really do. And I'm glad you remembered. But there are other things happening that weekend...I have to go on a retreat."

And you looked like you were almost about to cry. (It was the cutest thing ever!) At that point, I was already holding you really close and we were swaying. You said, "I guess I was just too excited to be able to dance with you."

"What do you think we're doing now," I slyly asked.

We chuckled and shared a kiss.

You looked down to meet my gaze and said, "I lo---"

I WOKE UP. O_o hahaha.

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